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Home • Wayne Pa Ps - In Memoriam • “Renee’s Legacy”

“Renee’s Legacy”

wayne-pa-probate-lawyers-in-memoriam-reenies-legacy-1

… My mother, Noreen A. Whalen, passed away on December 20, 2011 …
… I can write that date without a blink of an eye or a second thought …
… I just can’t write anything further about my mom …

… My father, John B. Whalen, passed away on January 23, 2004 …
… I can write that date without a blink of an eye or a second thought …
… I just can’t write anything further about my dad …

… I have read, and posted, similar writings from friends about their experiences with death and the loss of loved ones …

… I admire those who can write about loosing a loved one …
… I cherish the ability to read their writings about loosing a loved one …
… I embrace their writings because it allows me to remember loosing a loved one …

… And I remember my mom every day …
… And I remember her favorite song from 1972 …
… And I remember her crying quietly when she found out her brother had died in 1974 …
… And I remember her teaching me how to iron in 1976 …
… And I remember her talking to me in the hospital in 2011 …
… And I remember my sister reading my mom’s eulogy on December 29, 2011 …

… So I tell the stories of others instead …

… Maybe someday I will write …

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  • Renee’s Legacy

Renee’s Legacy

“Mom enjoyed a great many things in this life, albeit all very simple pleasures: a good cup of tea, a pair of warm slippers, a stack of unread novels, a pocketful of candy.

More than anything, though, Mom enjoyed meeting people; she was forever curious about others and loved listening to their stories and learning about their lives.

…

Whether they were first-person accounts from “strangers” she met in the store, narratives from the diverse array of adult students at the Drug and Alcohol rehabilitation hospital where she taught, anecdotes about the many daycare families she cared for, or tales taken from the multitude of books she devoured over seven decades of reading, she delighted in them, and then in telling and re-telling them to us.

…

Even on her last day in the hospital (approximately six days before she passed away), as she was being discharged on hospice, she was repeatedly scolded by the nurses for removing her oxygen mask to talk.

She wasn’t asking for anything for herself, or complaining about pain or shortness of breath.

She was inquiring about the other patients, asking about their families, doing her best to discover what had prompted their admissions, and promising them her prayers.

HIPAA regulations had no hold over her!

…

What strikes us now, though, is how little she talked about herself over the years, how little of her own story she told.

It is true that any one of us kids can readily retell her account of the Saturday afternoon she went to the movies as a little girl in Chicago, only to burst into tears when she discovered that the price of admission had gone up from three cents to a nickel.

Or the time that her beloved brother Jim, who was legally blind, persuaded her to let him sit behind the wheel of the car they drove to the neighboring town to visit the beautiful young woman who would eventually become his wife and our Aunt Frannie.

And we can all certainly recite at least some of the details surrounding her chance encounter in Rome with the handsome young Marine from Philadelphia who captured her heart to become her husband and our dad.

…

But these stories, like most of the ones she told, simply tell us about time or place or other people.

Not about Noreen Angela Nutley Whalen.

Mom didn’t talk about herself.

She was an intensely private person; she held things close to her heart, pondered them in prayer, and sorted them out in solitude.

…

So it is the stories that she didn’t tell that are actually more revealing.

About her gentle, selfless nature; her resilience; her courage.

Like the one about her first fiancé, who was killed in a terrible train derailment a few months before they were to be married.

Or the story about losing not one, but two, babies as a young mother who yearned for nothing more than a large and loving family.

Or how she lost both parents and her only sibling by the time she was forty, after having left them behind in Chicago when she moved to Philadelphia to be with Dad.

And then how she almost lost him to a massive stroke soon after that.

…

Forget about the war stories that would typically accompany the parenting of six kids, the fostering of a few more, and the sheltering of several others, all while working full time, running a daycare in her home, and taking care of a sick husband.

We would be here all day if I attempted to recount the indignities she endured for her family, the challenges she faced with quiet fortitude, and the countless sacrifices she suffered in silence.

Mom never spoke of these sagas; she respected us too much to share our shortcomings with the world; she loved us too much to complain.

…

What she did share with us, however, was her faith – her faith in a God who is loving, gracious, and forgiving.

It was unwavering, and it was what kept her going when the plot lines thickened, when the unexpected happened, when the stories didn’t end happily ever after.

…

She shared her hope with us – her hope that “tomorrow would be a better day;” that some day the kitchen counter would be clean of crumbs when she woke up in the morning; that one day we kids would stop bickering and realize the many blessings we had in each other.

That was her greatest hope.

…

And mom shared her love.

“Always, and in all ways.”

It was how she signed her cards and gifts to us; it was how she lived her life.

Asking for and about others; listening to others; thinking, always, only, of others; and giving of herself to them.

With the greatest love and kindness.

Always, and in all ways.

…

A few years ago, Father Silveri, one of the priests here at St. Joseph, shared with us a few words of wisdom about patience.

He said that love was patience with others, that hope was patience with one’s self, and that faith was patience with God.

Faith, hope, and love, swaddled in patience.

What a gift.

…

My brothers and sisters and I were truly grateful for the gift of our mom, a most patient mom, a role model of faith, hope, and love, always and in all ways.

wayne-pa-probate-lawyers-in-memoriam-reenies-legacy-2

… And I remember …

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Filed Under: Wayne Pa Ps - In MemoriamTagged With: Wayne Ps - File PersonalAugust 25, 2019

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About John B. Whalen, Jr., Esq.

John B Whalen Jr Esq

John B. Whalen, Jr., JD., LL.M., is an AV Peer Review Rated Preeminent 5.0 and Avvo Rated 10.0 Superb (obtaining over 95 client reviews and peer endorsements) premier and prestigious Attorney and Counselor at Law. He is featured on Martindale.com, Nolo.com, Avvo.com, Lawyers.com, Justia.com, Lawyers of Distinction, and Linkedin. He has amassed over 60 prestigious professional awards and over 5000 client reviews and endorsements.

He provides free initial consultations all seven days, provides home visits, a provides flat fee client structures. He can be reached by email at jw60297@me.com, and by telephone at 1-610-407-0220. He serves all surrounding counties, on all 7 days, from 9:00 AM to 10:00 PM, and on evenings, weekends, and holidays. His main office is located at 1199 Heyward Road Wayne Pa 19087. He can be reached by email at jw60297@me.com, and by telephone at 1-610-407-0220.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Jan Haws says

    April 19, 2015 at 7:52 am

    John, I am so very moved by your accounting of remembrance of your mother. It is a very deep revelation of things many of us can relate to because of the universality of daily life events. Your ability to capture the specialness is absolutely impressive.

    As I read, I found myself feeling comforted about the loss, two years ago, of my partner of 20 years, Doreen Dolan. Never making a fuss of herself, she was regarded as so special by everyone who met her. She helped every person she could, and it was appreciated. Your mother reminds me of my Doreen. Thanks so much for sharing her through your eyes.

    Jan

    Reply
    • John B. Whalen, Jr., Esq. says

      January 17, 2015 at 2:42 pm

      … Jan – you made my day, week, month, and year (so far!) … thank you for your time and for your kindness is revealing your thoughts …

      … John …

      Reply
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    John B. Whalen, Jr., JD., LL.M., is an AV Peer Review Rated Preeminent 5.0 and Avvo Rated 10.0 Superb (obtaining over 95 client reviews and peer endorsements) premier and prestigious Attorney and Counselor at Law. He is featured on Martindale.com, Nolo.com, Avvo.com, Lawyers.com, Justia.com, Lawyers of Distinction, and Linkedin. He has amassed over 60 prestigious professional awards and over 5000 client reviews and endorsements. John B Whalen Jr Esq John B. Whalen, Jr., JD., LL.M., is an AV Peer Review Rated Preeminent 5.0 and Avvo Rated 10.0 Superb (obtaining over 95 client reviews and peer endorsements) premier and prestigious Attorney and Counselor at Law. He is featured on Martindale.com, Nolo.com, Avvo.com, Lawyers.com, Justia.com, Lawyers of Distinction, and Linkedin. He has amassed over 60 prestigious professional awards and over 5000 client reviews and endorsements. He provides free initial consultations all seven days, provides home visits, a provides flat fee client structures. He can be reached by email at jw60297@me.com, and by telephone at 1-610-407-0220. He serves all surrounding counties, on all 7 days, from 9:00 AM to 10:00 PM, and on evenings, weekends, and holidays. His main office is located at 1199 Heyward Road Wayne Pa 19087. He can be reached by email at jw60297@me.com, and by telephone at 1-610-407-0220. Practice Areas Mr. Whalen concentrates his legal practice solely in the areas of Pa Probate, Pa Model Court Accountings, Pa Estate Planning, Pa Estate Administration, Pa Estate Litigation, Pa Guardianships, Pa Beneficiary Representation, Pa Estate Law, Pa Last Wills, Pa Powers of Attorney, Pa Advance Directives, Pa Trust Law, Pa Living Wills, Fiduciary Law, Pa Inheritance, Pa Inheritance Tax, Pa Trust Administration, Pa Cemetery Law, Pa Tax Law, and Pa Estate Planning for Unmarried Couples. Client Testimonials Mr. Whalen has over 4,000 LinkedIn Profile Followers. 99 LinkedIn Peer Endorsements. 27 Avvo Peer Endorsements. 24 Martindale Peer Reviews. 12 Lawyers Client Reviews. 68 Avvo Client Reviews - over 5,000 Reviews. Accolades Mr. Whalen has achieved the AV Peer Review Rated Preeminent award from Martindale, AV Peer Judicial Preeminent award, the Avvo Rated Superb 10.00 award, the Avvo Rated Top Lawyer award, the Clients’ Choice Award, and the Top One Percent (1%) award. He is the recipient of the Legum Magister Post-Doctorate Degree (LL.M.) in Taxation (from the Villanova University School of Law), a recipient of the American Jurisprudence Award in Wills, Trusts, and Estates, from the Widener University School of Law), and a recipient of the ABA-BNA Law Award for Academic Excellence (from the Widener University School of Law). He has also been named as an Awesome Attorney in the field of Estate Planning Law (by the Suburban Life Magazine of the Philadelphia suburbs) for the years 2010 through 2018, and was Editor-in-Chief of the Delaware Law Forum at Widener School of Law. Speaker Mr. Whalen is a frequent speaker and writer on the areas of Probate, Wills, Trusts, Estates, and has spoken for the Pennsylvania Bar Institute, spoken at the Widener University Osher Lifelong Learning Institute, and spoken at the Delaware County Estate Planning Council. He has also had his legal articles published by the Pennsylvania Bar Institute, the Pennsylvania Law Weekly, the Philadelphia Business Journal, and the Martindale.Com website. He has had his law blogs published on the Lawyers.Com website. Professional Mr. Whalen is a member of the Pennsylvania Supreme Court and the United States Federal Court for the Eastern District of Pennsylvania. He is past president of the Delaware County Estate Planning Council, a past Internship Instructor of Conestoga High School, and Villanova University School of Law. He is a past member of the Chester County Estate Planning Council, a past President of the Chesterbrook Picket Post Condominium Association. Serving All Surrounding Areas Mr. Whalen conducts his practice in serving West Chester Pa Probate Lawyers, serving Media Pa Probate Lawyers, serving Norristown Pa Probate Lawyers, serving Malvern Pa Probate Lawyers, serving Ardmore Pa Probate Lawyers, serving Wayne Pa Probate Lawyers, serving Collegeville Pa Lawyers, servings Skippack Pa Probate Lawyers, and serving all surrounding areas. Areas Served Mr. Whalen serves, and has served, both individuals and attorneys in the Southeastern Pennsylvania Metropolitan Area (and throughout the country), including Chester County Pa, Delaware County Pa, Lancaster County Pa, Montgomery County Pa, and Philadelphia County Pa.  He has served clients in Ambler Pa, in Ardmore Pa, in Aston Pa, in Berwyn Pa, in Blue Bell Pa, in Bridgeport Pa, in Broomall Pa, in Bryn Mawr Pa, in Chadds Ford Pa, in Chesterbrook Pa, in Chester Heights Pa, in Chester Springs Pa, in Coatesville Pa, in Collegeville Pa, in Conshohocken Pa, in Devon Pa, in Downingtown Pa, in Drexel Hill Pa, in Eagleville Pa, in Easttown Pa, in Elkins Park Pa, in Exton Pa, in Frazer Pa, in Great Valley Pa, in Haverford Pa, in Havertown Pa, in Jeffersonville Pa, in Kennett Square Pa, in King of Prussia Pa, in Lansdale Pa, in Limerick Pa, in Linfield Pa, in Linwood Pa, in Lower Merion Pa, in Malvern Pa, in Media Pa, in Narberth Pa, in Newtown Square Pa, in Norristown Pa, in Oaks Pa, in Overbrook Pa, in Paoli Pa, in Parkesburg Pa, in Phoenixville Pa, in Plymouth Meeting Pa, in Pottstown Pa, in Radnor Pa, in Ridley Park Pa, in Rosemont Pa, in St. Davids Pa, in Springfield Pa, in Strafford Pa, in Swarthmore Pa, in Thorndale Pa, in Tredyffrin Pa, in Trooper Pa, in Upper Merion Pa, in Valley Forge Pa, in Villanova Pa, in Wayne Pa, in West Chester Pa, in Westtown Pa, in Whitemarsh Pa, in Willistown Pa, in Wynnewood Pa, and in Yeadon Pa.